Seventy-three-year-old Ross Askin is willing to admit he learned the hard way.

“You don’t expect your son to turn on you,” he says.

Askin wants other people to know that when it comes to negotiating deals, even if it is with family, you should always be sure to get it in writing.

He alleges that in 1996, he and his son made a deal. That deal was that if his son, John, bought a piece of property and Askin helped construct a home and garage, he would be entitled to live there rent-free until his death. The agreement was strictly verbal and Askin felt confident. After all, he and his son had a pretty good relationship.

Three years later, his son moved to Alberta and Askin continued to live at the home he had helped build. With the property in his name, John paid the mortgage and taxes and his father took care of maintenance issues when they arose, paid the utilities and insurance.  Over the course of the nine years John lived out west, Askin visited him a few times and from what he understood his son “had no intention of coming back to Ontario.”

“In September this year, I went away to Winnipeg to visit my sister,” said Askin. “And while I was gone my son decided to kick in the door, change the locks and make himself a home. He took over everything. I’m not allowed to go on the property…. The police have warned me several times not to go near (the house). I wasn’t even able to get the food I left or any of my clothing.”

Having nowhere else to go, Askin says he spent two nights sleeping in his car trying to figure out what he was going to do until he was able to stay at a friend’s house.

“I helped build the house and garage with my own funds,” says Askin. “I even loaned my son money to purchase the property in the first place. In nine years, he hadn’t seen the place. I can’t figure this out. The OPP tell me he’s got the deed; it’s in his name. There’s nothing I can do. My lawyer told me the same thing. I just never thought this would happen.”

But according to Askin’s son, John, the deal was not that his father would live at the house until he died. The deal was that his dad would be able to live at the house for five years “until he was able to get his feet back on the ground.”

“On Jan. 1, last year, I told my dad he had until September to move out and he refused. He said he was not moving and that he would stay there until he died. I took the matter to the Landlord Tenant Act, and I proved he was not a tenant and I was not a landlord. They dismissed it, saying that he was considered a guest. Every paycheck I had went into that house. I let him live there rent-free from Day 1.”

John says he did end up living out west longer than he had originally planned, and when he returned this year, he thought the house had been “abandoned.”

“The windows were left wide open, and no one was there,” he said. “I spent over $1,000 on locks because the place wasn’t secure. As far as I’m concerned, all his personal property has been returned. I put everything outside in the garage and he was supposed to make arrangements to have it picked up.”

John, too, states that the situation is upsetting and he hopes that it will soon be resolved so he can move on.

Since the September incident, Askin has been somewhat able to pick himself back up. Although he got an apartment in town, he says he is plagued by constant thoughts of the demise of his relationship with his son.

“All of my household stuff is still there,” he said, adding that he believes he should be entitled to obtain some of his other belongings like his television, record player, pots and pans and other items. “In one sense, I still can’t believe this happened. We got along fine. I get up thinking about it, and I go to bed thinking about it. The whole problem here is that the agreement should have been in writing.”

Askin did retain a lawyer immediately following the incident; however, because the lawyer had previously represented Askin’s son, he declared a conflict of interest. Now Askin is in the process of finding another lawyer to represent him and help him fight for something he believes is partly his.   

Local lawyer David Ryan said while he can’t comment specifically on this case, any agreement involving property should be in writing, and preferably reviewed by a lawyer prior to being signed.

“This also applies when the agreement is between family members and friends,” he said.